Giving can be a treacherous thing. You feel like you’re putting your heart on display and risking it all for projects and your loved ones, and for your biz? Forget it! WAY too risky.
Can you relate?
I think the courage to give is the courage to give of yourself from a full well and not need anything back in return. Of course there’s the joy of giving and making someone else happy, but I’m not talking about that. I’m talking about not needing validation or praise for your giving. When you give because you want to, you open up your heart to yourself and act from a deeper place than giving from a closed heart or bone-dry well.
You’re a businesswoman, and there’re a million and one demands on your time. Everyone wants something from you, and it may feel like you can’t even catch your breath for a second, so how the hell can anyone ask you to give right now?! If you’re all stressed out, giving can’t and won’t feel good.
Sometimes giving will lead you to say no to someone or something else so you can say yes to yourself. When you’re taking exquisite care of yourself and constantly filling your well to overflowing, you have the space and desire to be generous with your heart and time. You feel good giving your expertise and great content away because you know there’s soooo much more where those came from.
Giving is really an act of self-care. You give because you know you can uplift a person/project/business with your contributions, and you give because it feels good to give. And if you’re paying attention to your reserves, you’ll know it doesn’t feel so good to give when you’re scraping bottom and parched for Soul nourishment.
So the courage to give, really, is the courage to set boundaries and flourish within them. Just like constraints are essential to make the most of creativity, boundaries are vital to let you know how much you can take on/give away without exhausting or shortchanging yourself.
Because giving feels so good, we’re often tempted to overextend ourselves again and again. Oh honey, cease and desist! You’ll do much more good if you’re overflowing and giving from your excess, not from the fuel you need for your own nourishment.
Are you with me?
If you want to discover all you’re capable of and explore your great gifts, then you must be willing to set boundaries on how much you give so you don’t deplete yourself, burn out, or come to resent the reason(s) you’re giving in the first place.
Just like barren land can’t yield any fruits or grains, an arid Soul can’t do Her great work or bless people with Her special gifts. You must have the courage to nourish yourself enough to be in a position to give without overwhelming or irritating yourself.
No one can tell you how much is too much: You have to find out for yourself what your limits are and respect them. If you need 8 to 9 hours of sleep a night to feel human, don’t try to skimp or scrimp with 5 or 6. If you need an uninterrupted hour to yourself every morning to envision your dream life and map out action steps to live it, make that hour happen. Do what you need to do so you’re in a position to give to your heart’s content.
When you’re clear-eyed and well-rested, you’re in the right frame of mind to give where you choose to give without feeling pressured into it. Just because someone asks for your time/money/participation doesn’t mean you have to give it; you can gracefully decline if it’s not in alignment with who you choose to be and how you choose to live.
The courage to give is the courage to take care of yourself first so you can give of your best when you do choose to give. Figure out what replenishes you and do it often enough to feel nourished, full, and genuinely generous.
How can you transform your relationship to giving today?