Are Your Words Costing You Clients?

When I was six or seven years of age, my grandmother came to visit. We slept in the same room and in the morning, I looked her in the eye and said “Nini, you scared me last night. In the dark, you looked like a big black grizzly bear.” She did not say a word however I knew immediately that I had said the wrong thing because I saw the hurt in her eyes. She walked out of the room and told my parents.

They were stunned and I remember getting a spanking. I remember that my Father said that if I did not have anything “nice to say”, then remain quiet. My Mother said, “Kadena, words have the power to make a person cry or smile so use them wisely.”

I have done my best over the last 40 years to remember that lesson.

As a small business owner, I’ve discovered that our words can educate, uplift, encourage and empower others as they seek to solve a problem or accomplish their goals. On the other hand, they can condemn, violate, attack, judge, criticize and wound a person so deeply that they disconnect, distrust and disengage.

Here are 3 tips to attract instead of repel your ideal client:


Whether a relationship is personal or professional in nature, in order to minimize chaos and conflict, active listening is required.

You will meet many different personality types as a small business owner. People who possess vastly different ideas and opinions than you do. Sometimes these people will be argumentative and disagreeable. Sometimes they may appear bossy, manipulative, controlling or aggressive. Yet at other times, they may appear as if you’ve known them your whole life.

It matters not how the other person shows up. What matters is the energy that you bring into the room. When you give yourself permission to embody the 4 rules of active listening, which are: (a) seek to understand before you seek to be understood. (b) Be non judgmental. (c) Give your undivided attention to the speaker and (d) Use silence effectively; you will discover that you can indeed create loving, harmonious relationships with every person that you meet.

Put all policies and procedures in writing.

We attract people with language that is clear and concise. We repel them when our company policies and procedures are vague and ambiguous. Clear communication will help you to develop and maintain loving, harmonious relationships. Look at the list below and decide what documents will help you speak with clarity, brevity and authority:

  • Advice (Confidentiality, Disclaimers. Expectations, Guarantees. Shared Responsibilities)

  • Appointments (Cancellations. Setting an Appointment. Rescheduling appointments. Following Up. Timelines)

  • Services (Coaching. Consulting. Mentorship, Pro-Bono Work. Speaking. Sales. Training.)

  • Code of Conduct (For both online/offline events.)

  • Connection (Alliances. Collaborations. Joint Ventures. Partnerships.)

  • Customer (Attraction, Service. Retention. Referral. Testimonials.)

  • Intellectual Property (Re-publishing / re-using your art, music, photography, words, etc.)

  • Media appearances. (Oral and Written. Online and Offline.)

  • Money (Acceptance. Donations. Payment. Pricing. Discounts. Receipts. Refunds.)

Walk Your Talk

In order to attract and retain clients, they must be able to trust that your words will match your actions. Therefore, consistency is a habit that must be cultivated.

Consistency means providing predictable, reliable results to the customer or client every time they make an investment in your products and services.

It is so tempting to put on a mask and pretend to be someone that you are not. The problem with this is that when you are not communicating in heart-centered integrity, you can’t fully “connect” with your ideal client. You limit or lose the ability to expand their mind or open their heart to greater levels of love, joy and peace.

That is quite dangerous because you will need “affinity” in order to grow, expand and serve more people.

In order to build affinity and “walk your talk”, personal and professional development is required.

The good news is that entrepreneurship is the greatest self-help course in the world because it brings you face to face with yourself. Latent feelings of anger, anxiety, apathy, discouragement, doubt, frustration, greed, grief, laziness, manipulation, rejection, etc. may rise to the surface. This is good because it reveals areas in need of further development.

As you align your words and actions, everyone wins. You are positioned to attract the clients you are meant to serve. The clients are attracted because they can place their time, money and trust in you.

How’s your self-expression lately? Do you feel free to use your true Voice, or are you holding back when it’s time to speak up, ask for what you want, or make your art?

I'm happy to support you in finding your voice and communicating with your Beloved Client in a heart-centered way.

Invest in Yourself Today!