If I Could Turn Back The Hands of Time

Many people enjoy living in the past, especially if going back there lets them blame someone else for anything that’s gone wrong in their lives. That’s when clinging to the past becomes an interpersonal problem… When we make excuses, we are blaming someone or something beyond our control as the reason for our failure. Anyone but ourselves.
— Dr. Marshall Goldsmith

You've probably heard someone say "If I could turn back the hands of time, I would ____". Perhaps you heard someone else say "Ah, if I knew then, what I know now". Maybe you've even been interviewed by someone who asked you "What advice would you give to your 18 year old self?"  


Each of these people is forgetting one very important fact: "Without their lived experiences, they would lack their current level of wisdom, knowledge and understanding".

I'm sure that you've observed that living in the past can and does inhibit your growth as an entrepreneur. In my private coaching sessions, I hear alot of criticism, shame, blame and guilt coming out of my client's mouths. It is my job to remind them to be present to the present moment. I also must share that you CAN change your attitude and actions everyday, however  no one can change the past. What is done is done. 

The pathway of healing requires brutal honesty. You cannot heal what you refuse to acknowledge. Therefore, the 1st step is to list your tolerations. You might be tolerating under-earning, obesity, toxic employees, an emotionally abusive spouse or verbally abusive friend.

Don't be deceived by the subtlety of tolerations. Look closely at how people-pleasing, proving and perfectionism show up in your life.  

What I know for sure is that my spinning in/out of perfectionism, codependency and proving taught me many lessons. You will NOT hear me say "If I knew then what I know now."

This is because today, I am embracing self-love, self-care and self-compassion. No longer am I wearing a mask to hide my flaws. I can look anyone in the eye and admit that I don't know everything nor have I been everywhere.  I embrace this new way of BEing in the world because I have wonderful mentors who've taught me to see my flaws as a to-do list of areas in need of improvement, rather than stumbling blocks on this entrepreneurial journey. 

World-renowned business educator and coach, Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, wrote this fantastic book "What Got You Here Won't Get You There". In his book, he explains that when we talk about the past it is NOT about change. We have a tendency to focus on negatives rather than forgive, learn from disempowering actions and move onward and upward. This got me thinking about that which we tolerate.

Take a good long look at your life + business and engage in a bit of inner inquiry.

In your journal, write down a list of your tolerations. Circle those you are no longer willing to tolerate. 

In the comment section, please share your epiphanies and/or experiences.